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May 25, 2005

Whack Wiggle

I only posted a couple lines in the sidebar mouthing off about Jeff of The Wiggles. I didn't expect anyone to react to it.

I was wrong...

While I've been exposed to countless hours of The Wiggles, I realize many of you may somehow lead Wiggle-free lives. For you: The Wiggles is an Australian musical group/TV show for kids. They are now on the Disney Channel all of the time.

Jeff is one of them. His "bit" is to fall asleep all the time.

Here's what some readers had to say...

Steve,

I totally agree. They only keep him around because he fulfills the short man quota. At least Murray can play the guitar!

Truly Yours,
Tricia


Oh, I KNOW! Aren't you just appalled at the fact that he has somehow ridden the coattails of the three talented Wiggle brothers to fame and glory? You've got to respect the boys for the fact that when they were coming up with gimmicks, they managed to convince Jeff to have a gimmick that required him to be almost always motionless and silent.

Also, who do think has scored with more single moms, Anthony Wiggle or Steve Burns? The question has to be asked.

Dave (father of a four-year-old who has, thankfully, moved on from the Wiggles. Also, if you haven't crossed their path yet, be VERY AFRAID of The Doodlebops)


Sorry Steve, but whilst Jeff is obviously in need of help dealing with his narcolepsy (or alcoholism – take your pick) I have to disagree – Anthony is clearly the worst of the Wiggles. His "Anthony's Workshop" contribution to the show is the low point of Saturday mornings in our house. An abomination that has to be seen to be believed. And "Music With Murray" isn't a whole lot better either.

Don't even get me started on Dorothy the bloody dinosaur.

Cheers,
Richard


Jeff is definitely the worst Wiggle. It's like the Sesame Street game- three of these things are not like the other, three of these things are kind of the same... Jeff could be cut out easily.

amy


Hey Steve,

I had to laugh at "Jeff is clearly the worst Wiggle. Just let him sleep." I was saying to my wife the other day that they are probably racist because they are trying to perpetuate the idea that Asians are lazy.

People who don't have kids look at you like you are nuts when you say things like, the Doodle-bops are America's' answer to the Wiggles, just like the Monkees were America's answer to the Beetles.

Take care,
Darryl


Hey Steve,

Bang-on with the Jeff thing. If you're going to pretend to play an instrument, at least pick something cool like a saxophone. An accordian? Geez, your not going to get any chicks like that...

Cheers,
Andy


My daughter loves him. She's 2 and after a wiggle episode, she'll run around the house yelling "Wake Up Jeff" at the top of her lungs for an hour. They should just put him down. End our misery.

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Posted by Steven | Archive

Comments

what the fuck is a wiggle?!

The Wiggles is an Australian musical group/tv show for kids. They are on the Disney Channel all the time now. I also added this at the top of the post.

I must be out of sync with Australian Kiddie shows... But do I plan to do anything about it? I guess I'm just in a australian kiddie show slump... could the Wiggles perhaps break this slump?

The DoodleBops are WAY COOL. Colorful and Bright with crazy hip hop music. Oh, and the two guys are so incredibly Gay, I'm just waiting for the Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Army of the Christian Right to go on full alert.

It will be glorious.

Personally, I find their show much closer to that paragon of children's shows: Pee Wee's Playhouse. Not so boring, unrealistic characters, bright crazy colors and _way_ more fashion sense than the Wiggles.

btw.. Has anyone seen BooBahs on PBS? It's the most Amazing Mushroom Hallucination show Ever! I _Love_ this show even though my five year old was instantly bored.

There's definitely something appealing about The Wiggles. But the more I watched, there were just little recurring quirks with Jeff that started to make me a little crazy. It really doesn't matter what I think. My kids think he's cool. And at this point, I'm sure Jeff could buy and sell all of us.

Well, at least they aren't dressed in really weird alien costumes...

No episode 3 related stuff Steve? after the "Brewbacca" reference, I figured you'd be right on the Episode 3 bandwagon :P

Hi

I'm from Australia. The capital in fact, Canberra.

The trick is NOT to notice them. Then they just disappear, run overseas to infiltrate childrens television... oh. Hang on. That'd be you guys.

Well - if you're interested in what the Wiggles were doing before the hysteria, check this out: http://www.evanandcalumssite.homestead.com/Cockroaches.html

The best kiddie show was the Weird Al Show... I loved that show... I learned so much on it... like how to brush me teeth and how to feed monkeys...

Haha BooBahs rule! They're kinda like Teletubbies but alot trippier

For an idea of how hallucinatory Boohbahs are..http://www.boohbah.com I'm surprised they even allow this stuff on TV hehe

My two year old loves The Wiggles, but gets very frustrated with her most recent book. The problem? Jeff doesn't wake up at all. No amount of screaming seems to make any difference (and how she has tried) -- Jeff simply sleeps through the entire book.

However, he appears to have also slept through the photography shoot for the back cover, as they have replaced him with a purple silhouette. Could this be the beginning of the end for Jeff?

Oy. My neice is OBSESSED with the wiggles. She has all the wiggles merchandise, and she never stops singing that 'mashed bananas/cold spaghetti' song. Car trips are HELL with her.

My three-year-old bebops around the house singing Wiggles tunes all the time. If I hear the hot potato/cold spaghetti/mashed buh-nah-nah song one more time, I may tape her mouth shut.

The one that squicks me out most is the Higglytown Heroes. They're these little Russian-style nesting dolls that play hide-and-seek by hiding inside each other. And the cat gave birth in a tree once - each baby came out of the baby before it. Someone's smokin' some good shit there.

WHERE'S JEFF?

That is possibly the greatest song ever, plus Jeff looks like a Black Cap (NZ Cricket Team).

Has he gone for a ride?

All I can say is, thank god the Wiggles seem to have wiped out the evil scurge that is Barney.

Jeff is their scapegoat. You need a guy like him around for the dirty work.
He's their Ringo!

Steve, just found your site... OMG how have I not seen this before??? It's web gold!!! You are beyond funny, uber-crap-your-pants-funny!!! ('kay, not the Jeff post so much, but I've been reading the archives). I bow to you, Funny Bloggod!

I wiggle when I get my salad tossed

My 20 month old is obsessed with the Wiggles. Not a day goes by that I don't hear one of their songs running through my head as I sleep at my desk at work.

In response to the commentor who said the "Doodlebops were the American version of the Wiggles" I'm loathe to admit that I know this, but the Doodlebops actually hail from Canada. It goes without saying that they are pure evil.

A fun Wiggle Fact: Anthony and Jeff cut their musical teeth during a stint in a respected Australian Rock band called the Cockroaches.

By far the most annoying part of any show involves the Ritalin Pirate, Captain Feathersword. Is there a deeper meaning when the wiggles "push the captain's magic buttons"?

Wiggles? We're still dealing with that goddamed Grover wannabe, Elmo.

My two ten year old nephews recently asked "how do those guys ever get to go on dates?" Ahh, how indeed young men--well days later I saw the answer--millions of dollars a year in income pulled from hardworking wallets like mine. THat lazy bastard is sleeping all the way to the bank.

jeff is the most annoying and useless wiggle in my book. my little cousin got me into watching the wiggles, and they're one of the better kids shows he watches, sadly. of course i went out and bought the wiggles cd's for in the car, those songs never leave your head after you listen to them...two words: fruit salad

When I had a son I thought I would spend most of my waking moments trying to help him live a Barney-free existence. Now I see that my aims were entirely misguided. After watching half-a-dozen episodes of the Wiggles I see who the real enemy to good television is. There is no more obnoxious show on TV than the Wiggles. They make Barney look like a good Bugs Bunny cartoon (back when cartoons were actually good).

Jeff IS annoying, but he does actually play the piano, as witnessed in several installments os Music with Murray. So he isn't completely useless. A friend of mine however noticed that occasionally Greg has back hair hanging out of his costumes... that is FAR worse in my book.

Like everyone else here, my daughter loves the Wiggles. Frankly, they creep me out. Especially that Greg guy. I have a feeling, 10 years from now, we're going to have seen a few poorly shaven mug shots of him in the county lockup with lurid stories about him taking everything off but his yellow f**king shirt.

Speaking of Greg, I'm also obssessed with the frequent pit stains he sports in their dance numbers.

My two kids both love the Wiggles, while I agree that they are not... They are FAR BETTER than the Doodlebops, what is up with those things? I'll take the Wiggles and the sleeping Jeff any day!!!

All of the Wiggles suck. The Wiggles and The Teletubbies should get together and go bowling. I hate them all. But the worst has to be Barney. Barney needs to be hit over the head with a blunt object.

I have a two year-old brother and a three year-old brother who love The Wiggles. The three year-old, Jackson, loves pirates (my fault, I let him watch Pirates of the Caribbean) and insists that Captain Feathersword is a real pirate. What kind of a pirate has a feather duster as a weapon?

And don't even get me started on Doodlebops. I caught them watching it yesterday and I almost had a heart attack.

I've never seen the Wiggles, thankfully. However, it sounds like Jeff stole the sleeping bit from Grandfather Clock. Captain Kangaroo was forever having to wake him up.

Captain Kangaroo rocked!

I'm relieved that I've never had to experience these Wiggles or DoodleBops. I've seen that God-forsaken Barney show once before and it was one of my most horrible television viewing experiences EVARR!


On a different note, is that hottie, Jessica, still single?
Damn I wish I lived over there in the east

What is it with 'kids show stuff' that's just plain freakish? I mean, there's something inherently twisted about a bunch of grown men living in a house together named 'the Wiggles' who dance and sing and 'other stuff''. (I seem to recall getting some not-so-nice spam e-mail similar to that concept...)

This seems to be a trend. Let's examine some history here:

1 - Cabbage Patch Dolls - These things still give me nightmares. Look into the eyes of one of these things, and you're haunted to the grave.

2 - Teletubbies - I don't know what planet these beings came from, but sweet jesus they give me the chills. And that disembodied baby's head stuck in the sun? What the hell is that about?

3 - Barney - Definitely the result of some bad shrooms. Fat purple dinosaur who tells you to love everything and everyone all the time? Sorry Barn, I don't swing that way.

That's just a sample, but I encourage others to add their repressed memories of childhood frights. Maybe there's something locked deep down I haven't chosen to remember yet. But anyway, why can't we go back to the wholesome days of He-man and Transformers for some serious butt-kickin' learn-your-damn-lesson old fashioned fun?

But I digress...

- JB

Has it not occured to anyone that *all* of the wiggles are annoying fuckers? My step-son watches that show. I want to stab them all in the eye.

my 2 1/2 year old grandson loves the Wiggles, but he is banned from watching teletubbies, boobah, barney etc. we hate those. I agree Jeff is the worst Wiggle, but then again I'm in lust with Capt Feathersword. In all honesty, I'd rather watch Veggie-Tales or Bob the Builder. Now Bob the Builder is cool..of course I think Wendy has her sights set on that young man...Our TV usually has on one of the Shreks at least once a week, VeggieTale's Jonah every other day, and Bob the builder whenever my daughter isn't around, she hates it, so my grandson has to wait for me to watch BTB. My grandson also loves Higgleytown Heroes which I agree with a previous comment about them all hiding inside each other and stuff, it's kind of creepy. but he likes trying to figure out how they are going to solve the problems of everyday life in Higgleytown

OK, yes, the Wiggles are plain awful, Jeff is the worst of them, and the Captain Feathersword should be busted down to Seaman second class (and for crying out loud, could someone please put some makeup on his hideously boil-infested face? Please? for me?)

But seeing the comment on the BooBahs, I have to point out that they remind me of uncircumcised penises. Fat, colorful, fuzzy, walking uncircumcised penises. This chills me to the bone and it should you too.

I only watched one episode of the Wiggles. I was in my Anthropology advisor's office at college - he had brought his kid to work. The most disturbing part was when the wiggles' guys suddenly became puppet/marionette versions of themselves. Those were the creepiest damn puppets I have ever seen! I kept waiting for their puppet heads to spin around and vomit pea-soup.

Best cartoon ever: G.I. Joe

GI Joe, best cartoon ever? Good, yes. But the best ever would have to be Voltron. That lion-based-robot kicked some serious rump. It's like the harcore basis for that homo-tastic Power Rangers show, only there's no comparison. Anyone who remembers Voltron will know the truth. Those robot lions were beyond wicked, and since it was animated, they didn't look like retarded puppets prancing around.

- JB

The best trio bar far has to be Sharon, Lois, and Braum. To this day you would be hard pressed to find a person my age(18) who doesnt know the words, and actions for Skinamarink.

Agree with the Wiggle busting, and those Doodlebops freaks are incredibly scary, but I gotta throw some mad props at Hi-5. The two guys are totally gay, but the three girls are wicked hot. Karla, whose favorite animals are "kitties and butterflies", Kimee, whose nickname is "Kimoots", and Jenn, aka "Toots McGinty. These chicks make me wanna hump the TV whenever my two year old isn't in the room. And I'm pretty sure they're all legal.
http://www.hi-5us.com/meethi5.htm

My little guy is 10 weeks old, so we haven't yet had to endure Wiggles, Teletubbies, Senor Poofylumps and The Prancing Mincers, or any of that other tripe yet. I'm hoping to skip over that phase and go straight to Spiderman and Star Wars.

i am so glad i'm not the only one hating on jeff. we have always called him "Worthless Wiggle" at our house. well, not around our daughter though. she would be crushed.

my daughter has recently discovered the doodlebops. i wish i could poke out my eyes & ears with a spork.

We all know why Jeff is on the show, don't we? Watch the credits. Notice that Jeff shares a surname with the executive producer of the show. Clearly they're closely related. I can picture that conversation.


JF: Hey, man - I hear you're making a kids show. I'm tired of flipping burgers. Can I be on it?

BF: No.

JF: Why not?

BF: Because, unlike most Asians, you are hideous. The camera doesn't love you.

JF: But I can play keyboard!

BF: But you can't act.

JF: I'm telling mom.

BF: Fine. We'll put you in. We'll have a character that's always asleep. That way, you can showcase your master thespian skills.

My husband and I often comment that for the few moments per show Jeff is actually awake he is ALWAYS leering like a molester in a public service announcement. What's up with that?? Creepy. . .

The earlier episodes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rein supreme in the land of kid's television. They actually had a continuing story line! The Thunder Cats were also a love of mine during my early years. What have we become!?!

Okay -- I just went and looked up the Doodlebops since we (luckily) have not yet been exposed. Here's a snippet from the website:

"The show was produced through Cookie Jar Entertainment (formerly Cinar), the production company behind 'Arthur' and 'Caillou'"

No surprise that something as creepy as the Doodlebots comes from the creator of the two biggest wusses in children's TV.

H.R. Puffenstuff and Witchypoo. Oh yeah, and the Banana Splits! Wacky!

Man Jeff kicks ass. I wish I could get paid for sleeping.

I can take or leave Wiggles, but Boohbahs look like what would happen if one were to snort Kool-Aid and then sneeze. Heh. I said "sneeze."

My kids, 3 and a half year old son,and a year and a half daughter, both love the Wiggles and I have to say that, in this day of, shall we say "obese" kids, at least they get the kids off the couch and get them to jump around and dance - there are far worse things, like that damned purple dinosaur!

As for Dave's question of Anthony Wiggle or Steve Burns: Steve so kicks Anthony's ass. Joe, no way, but Steve had a lot of mom's using him during their 'alone time'. I know, I was one of them!! =)

I was staying with some friends who have small children. Two TV's going all the time with kids shows. Needless to say I got pretty much enough of them all. I don't have much to say about the wiggles. Although, the pirate dude rocks. Who cares if carries a feather duster. He has the voice down. ARRRRGGHH Matey!

The people who created Boohbah were obviously hi on something and I'm not talkin' life people.

OK, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and am living in a persistent vegetative state of fear of all this Wiggles crap. Is there any way to avoid it? Can't I get my kids to listen to They Might Be Giants and watch the Pee Wee Herman show on DVD so I don't fly into a homicidal rage every time the kid wants to be entertained? Seriously. I'm cool with the pain of vaginal birth, I'll take as many episiotimies as you can dish out, but the pain of the Wiggles and TeleTubbies and Barney and a house full of useless plastic shit is almost too much to bear!!!

My DAD'S BAND had to play for a 4-year-old's birthday party. This kid was the nephew of their singer or something. Anyway, the kid really liked the Wiggles, so that was basically all they played. My dad practiced for hours to this CD of the Wiggles... Oh good lord, those were the worst couple weeks of my life. Damn Wiggles. "We like swimming..." Woo.

im 14 years old, and (sad as this sounds) i recently went to a Wiggles concert with my 3 year old cousin. I am also the proud owner of a wiggles t shirt, cd, and henry the octopus doll.
well now that i've publicly humiliated myself, i suppose i can make my point. Which is:
while at this concert, Jeff hid for a while for the "where's jeff" routine. My aunt managed to find him on her way to get more popcorn, so my cousin got to meet her idol. then he walked by and waved at us. so, although he may not be as talented as the others, he does win points for being friendly.
Personally, my favorite Wiggle is Greg, but my favorite character is Henry the Octopus.
ROCK ON WIGGLES!!

I cannot believe all the negative comments about Jeff. I mean, c'mon, it must be hard to have to sing all the time whilst you are perpetuly tired.
The man is obviously the genius behind the group. All those late nights staying up to write some of the best lyrics this world has ever seen. Honestly, who wouldn't be tired.
I say let Jeff sleep. Another thing, if Jeff wasn't being woken up all the time maybe he wouldn't be so tired. It's the bastards that keep waking him up that are the real villians.

LET JEFF SLEEP

Jeff was one of the originators of the Wiggles. So he *has* to be there. I've never thought a keyboard player was really that essential to a group anyway.

Jeff sucks, as do the rest of the wiggles. that godforsaken show used to wake me up really really early in the morning.

Jeez, I'm glad I have cats instead of kids. Reading about crap like this is the best birth control there is.

Okay, Wiggles are weird multi-millionaires (there are 80 music CD references and 60 VHS/DVD titles on Amazon - do the $$ math) but they put in their time in Austrailia before hitting it BIG in the states. You can find some of their early not-so-big-budget-videos on overstock.com *cheap* - just like their sets. Think about it: They've been singing "Hot Potatoe" for over a DECADE. I think that's a special HELL all in itself.

Doodlebops are FREAKS (agreeing with the earlier post of Canadian show = evil) and the new incarnation of the Barney show is sadly just as saccharine as the old version - but I think Baby Bop and BJ (don't need Freud to dive into THAT name) are EVEN WORSE than Barney himself....

Jeff could easily be replaced by Captain Feather Sword. Or maybe one of those kids in Hi-5.

Heehee - "Funny Bloggod"

Does anyone remember The Polka-Dot Door? Or did I imagine it all?

If you want your kids to watch something that is mildly amusing to adults then check out "Peep" on TLC in the AM. Quack is an odd duck.

All I know is my year-and-a-half old niece pronounces words like "cah" and "ba-nah-na" because of those damned Wiggles, and she barely watches TV. It's a conspiracy; next thing we know, we'll be feeding our kids Vegemite instead of PB&J.

Vegemite? Lord help us, that stuff is AWFUL.

Ok, I (thank all that is holy) know very little about the Wiggles as my five year old son has progressed on to Star Wars and anything else with "fighting!".

However, to the above post about BooBah...I thought I was the only one who saw the penis thing! They look just exactly like a scrotum and a dinky little uncut penis. The fact that they bob their heads in and out and that there are EYES located there makes me want to scream in my sleep.

I've seen the Wiggles only once. *shudder*

Where are all the great shows for kids that we had when we were young 'uns? I remember:

Big Blue Marble, ZOOM, Electric Company, 321 Contact, and the uber-trippy H.R. Pufnstuf. And what was that show with Gary Gnu? (No gnus is good gnus!) Great Space Coaster?

The only Australian kids show I've ever enjoyed is Bananas in Pyjamas. That theme song is hard to shake. B1 and B2.

I can't stand children's shows these days. I grew up watching GI Joe and other 80s cartoons, yet I can't recall a single cartoon that was colorful and bubbly. The strangest was PeeWee's playhouse, but it wasn't educational as much as it was just plain asinine. Kids these days are going to grow up totally broken.

i dunno, he's probably my fave wiggle. my 2 year old loves the show. Jeff apparently was in some bands in Australia..pseudo new wavey-punk rock ala Radio Birdman. can't knock him for that. It's that guy in the yellow shirt. He sings out of the side his mouth if you haven't noticed, and he is really a hairy aboriginese! take is sleazy!

My son is almost 6 months old and he loves the Wiggles songs. He doesn't watch the show at all (thank god). I must say, however, the the most frightening of all children's entertainment has to be the Boohbahs. I only know about them because of my job. But man are they freaky! My kid will never be allowed to watch them!

What ever happened to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? And NOT the crappy 2003 version, I mean the real, 80's deal. Kids would be much better off knowing the ways of Californian Ninja mutants who listen to a giant rat, then some coloured shirt gits.

Please Wiggles over Boobahs, doodlebops, teletubbies, barney anyday...I've only seen Calliou once,thought it sucked and wouldn't watch it again. The funniest kids show by far is Veggie Tales. Larrys silly songs are hilarious. Just listen to "My Cheeseburger" or the SUV song..now that's entertainment...I'm probably older than most people on here (44) but my favorite kids shows growing up were Rocky & Bullwinkle (still funny) and Bugs road runner hour...my kids liked Square One TV, that's another great show that should still be on the air..get rid of these creepy stuffed penis looking things..

Kathy, you are right about the best kid shows. Rocky & Bullwinkle and Bugs Bunny are classics.

I have to add Fractured Fairy Tales to the list of classics. Loved that one.

P.S.....44? Nope, you are not the oldest! lol
I bet no one remembers a bunch of chickens swooning and screaming, "Oh, Frankie!"

Wiggles, Schmiggles.

If you know who the wiggles are, listen to our last podcast:
http://shesaid-hesaid.com/podcasts/SSHS-2005-05-24.mp3
and "guess the most annoying children's toy".

brian

Boobah is the scariest thing ever. That show makes me feel like its doing mind control hypnotism on kids. Its freaky

Yes, there is hope. My kids are 9 and 7, and they like typical kid stuff (please save me from the Disney Channel!!). However, I got Rocky & Bullwinkle Season 1 on DVD, and the kids are HOOKED!! :) My son also enjoys the original Star Trek.

The classics never die!

VeggieTales is also very good! Larry is the man, er, cucumber!

I read what Steve wrote earlier in this chain of comment goodness and i screamed "YES!!!!!" and dissolved into a fit of laughter....here's the quote..

"The best trio by far has to be Sharon, Lois, and Braum. To this day you would be hard pressed to find a person my age(18) who doesnt know the words, and actions for Skinamarink."

i'm 18 too and i LOVED THAT SHOW. i even remember the hand motions. hahaha rock on. yay random drawings of gray elephants to transition ideas. :)

oh and I loved the Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles. I was never a fan of Barney or even Sesame Street. Although i loved Mr. Rogers. And Eurekas castle. Magellan rocks my world.

Children shows now are pure crap.

Oh Damn, someone beat me to the Hi-5 comment! Anyways, those girls are hot! I always get lusty though when I see them but I know they are "of age". How about the hot keystone cop on the wiggles? She is hot right? Well that's what happens when you watch too much kids TV.

I'm a believer in the classics: Voltron, Thundercats, Reading Rainbow, Calliope, and The Bugaloos. Today's stuff is mostly crappy anime.

Loved Sesame Street, but it just wasn't the same 'hood after Mr. Hooper died. :(

Thank you Susie!
I'm glad someone agrees with me...

"Steve so kicks Anthony's ass. Joe, no way, but Steve had a lot of mom's using him during their 'alone time'."

Right on Karen!!!! I love Steve. Thought I was the only one. Was so sad when he left the show. Thankfully my kids have moved on and we now get to enjoy the wonderful world of Cartoon Network. Billy and Mandy ROCK!!!

(what a sad bunch we all are....)

Andere Steve: Right on about the hot chicks on Hi-5. I am always thinking inappropriate things during that show.

Karen: Awesome. I figured Steve Burns would be the preference of most moms out there, but my wife would clearly prefer a wiggle with Anthony (also, Steve Burns has a great CD called "Songs for Dust Mites" - it's not kid stuff).

Bonnie: You cannot avoid the crappy kid's culture that is out there completely, but as far as music goes, TMBG have a great kids album called "NO!" and I also recommend Laurie Berkner's CDs. My daughter and I love both. There are some good kids shows out there, too: I really like Higglytown Heroes, Peep and the Big Wide World, Charlie & Lola, Zoboomafoo, and Zoom. And aside from the incessant repetition (something all parents must learn to deal with), the Wiggles aren't bad. We saw a concert of theirs last year, and my wife and I enjoyed it just as much as my daughter.

you wanna see weird kids shows... this one made me laugh 'til I cried.
http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rainbow_tv_episode.html
The only bad thing was I got that plucking song stuck in my head for like a week.

The Wiggles make me want to hurt someone. badly.

like the way you could hurt someone running through the market, wildly flailing around both arms, a machete in each hand.

peace out.

Ok- so I was thinking... we are complaining about our kid's shows...what did our parents think of our shows... come on....
The Great Space Coaster, Pinwheel, You Can't Do That On Television, New Zoo Revue (Henrietta Hippo...total fag hag)...Lancelot Link... I can oly imagine what my parents thought of those shows.

i HATE the Wiggles, but alas... my kids LOVE them. bleh. whattya do? <-- not a question i need answered

as an australian, i'd like to apologise to the rest of the world for these incubi in coloured skivvies.
*hangs head in shame*

With two kids, if it's primary colored and sings, I know about it. In Jeff's defense, he's one of the two wiggles that actually had a music career before the wiggles..he and Anthony were in "The Cockroaches".
But the most important question we need to ask about Jeff is:
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIS EYEBROWS!!!!!

Last year my wife and I took our daughter to see the Wiggles in concert (increasing their wealth, while decreasing mine) and I've got to say that these guys definitely do a bit of work in their shows. I was trying to take note as to how they choreographed the whole thing to allow members to rotate in and out to allow breather breaks, but they still were moving for quite a bit of time.

Also, am I the only one that thinks that Jeff is also the voice of Henry the Octopus?

Jeff is the only wiggle who is still single

I survived my preschool years on 'Playbus', i hated the dancing doll and loved the Why Bird (who was a woodpecker not a parrot) and her computer. Guess who can't dance but is glued to the computer????

Anthony wiggle won an Australian "Bachleor of the Year" award a few years ago.

I guess pickings are pretty slim in a country where even Russell "Fighting Around the World" Crowe and Steve Irwin - The Crocodile Hunter are off the market.

you should check out the "Boohbah's"...

www.boohbah.com

they are FUCKED up. Well then again,you FEEL like you're fucked up, or blazed, when you watch them. It doesnt air in America, only in like, England. But watch it, its trippy.

Hi there,
I'm an Australian girl and forgive me if it has been previously mentioned in these post, but Jeffn and Anthony were famous in Australia before the Wiggles in a band called The Cockroaches.
So maybe being in the Wiggles is like early retirement for him now after all his success in the 1980s.
Maybe it's not narcolepsy. Maybe he's just having his afternoon siesta after a hard game of lawnbowls and Bingo...?

I keep getting pipped at the post on Wiggle Trivia. I work as a nurse at a Childrens Hospital and Wiggles are everywhere. In pictures, movies, in person all over the wards...

My three year old is addicted to them; they are like heroin for the under-four-set.

"...Fruit salad... yummy yummy.... Fruit salad... yummy yummy."

Almost as annoying as those Vonage phone commercials:

"Woo hoo, woo hoo hoo... woo hoo, woo hoo hoo hoo..."

ok, the comment about Lancelot Link. have to disagree. That was a great show. I even bought a bootleg copy of season 1. Where else can you see talking chimps solving the worlds crimes? Not to mention that in my 20's (during the 1980's) Lancelot was about the only thing that would make me get up on a Saturday morning, hung over and dying for sleep. I would get up though just to watch those silly chimps. I am still a fan of Mr Rogers too. He got made fun of all the time, but really he was just a nice guy that wanted to make sure kids felt good about themselves and grew up to be good human beings. what's so wrong with that? the Wiggles may be annoying but they do encourage children to eat properly and to exercise, lets see a computer game do that. Also in my previous comment I stupidly said the song was named "My cheeseburger" this has been bothering me all weekend. The correct title is "His cheeseburger" and next to The bellybutton song, it is one of the most hilarious Veggie Tale songs ever. veggie Tales reminds me a lot of Rocky & bullwinkle as it's funny on a kids level and an adults. the creators of Veggie Tales are Monty Python fans, so that should tell you the shows will be funny. Actually the Silly Songs with Larry part of each show is totally Monty Python. ok..I'll stop now..there's just so much crap out there and so little good stuff

The Boohbahs do show in America - I've seen them Ithink on PBS - I have satellite, tho, maybe it was BBC. Who knows.
Steve has definitely scored more than Anthony Wiggle. C'mon.
With the sound turned off, Captain Feathersword is kind of hot. But then again I am single mom of a three year old and don't get out much.
I do agree that the Doodlebops are muchmuch much worse than anything else out there right now though, they make me want to gouge my eyes out and plug my ears with them.

edna million
goretro.typepad.com

I think it's unfair to say that Jeff is 'clearly' the worst Wiggle. They are all very annoying. Comparatively, Jeff isn't all that bad. I wish they'd all fall asleep... and be silent!

Captain Feathersword on the other hand, is the most irritating a-hole on that show. What's with him and the dog?

Jeff is the Wiggles' Ringo. They threw him a bone when they let him do his "I'm a Cow" song (sung in one note).

He's a bit like Harpo the silent Marx brother.

Although I think there's some subtle racist undertones in that Jeff is clearly not the standard caucasian Australian and he always gets the short end of the stick. Second class citizen. Unfair.

Anyone else think he's supposed to elicit a gay subtext? I mean, odd man out, purple shirt? You know how Disney is. Is he their Tinky Winky?

I've seen the Wiggles twice at Universal Amphitheater in SoCal and Jeff into the audience and shook our hands.

I actually think he's a nice guy. I heard they are the highest paid entertainers in Australia, edging out Russel Crowe and Nicole Kidman at $34 Million EACH

Yeah, Capt. Feathersword is the most annoying. I like the rest of the cast though. I bought their cd's and play them in the car on long trips and actually think their music is quite good and I'm a harsh critic.

I think Officer Beeples is a bit hot. Too skinny but have you seen her as Zardo Zap? And there are a few dancers I saw on the Wiggly Party dvd that are hot. Daddy like.

Boobah had to be created by someone on an acid trip. I'm not sure I want my kids trying to make sense out of that one. Ok, what's with the grandpa, grandma, Mr. Man, Mrs. Lady and all that? C'mon.

Ok seriously the BooBahs are some wierd shit. My sister discovered them one time and thought it was soo funny that she called me down to watch. The wiggles are okay, the episodes that i have seen tend to be a little different each time so they havent gotten too irritating yet. However by far Hi-5 is the best! I saw it once while channel surfing to see guys and girls in tights dancing to a song that sounded like someone composed it while on LSD.

I read somewhere that Jeff, Anthony, and Greg studied Early Childhood Education and meet each other in school. The Wiggles started was a school project.

Jeff is the...

wait for it....

professional musician! He's probably the one responsible for most of the songs, including the one currently stuck in my head!

Personally I hate all of them, except for Captain Feathersword, whom I think well, hot. I'd like to see what else he can do with his sword.

The DoodleBops are not America's answer to the Wiggles.

They are Canadian.

America has been content to pretty much roll over and let the Wiggles rule. We just like those accents so much.

Hence, Russel Crowe and Heath Ledger's careers.

What about the Tweenies on Noggin?!?!?! No one has mentioned them yet. Talk about annoying.......

I guess you didn't know that Jeff and Anthony were in a band together in the 80's. I suppose you didn't know that he can play 5 instruments. Not bad for someone who is untalented!

Doesn't matter that he can play 5 instruments. He is the most annoying person on the planet. I was cracking up when I read Steve's comments about Jeff. I've had this exact conversation with some other parent friends and we all agree. Just let him sleep!

I've seen the Wiggles all of once, and that was on the Crocodile Hunter Diaries and it was okay, if in this context, okay were to mean completely retarded in a eat my own eyeballs and vomit them out sort of way.

Steve Burns is awesome, cause lets face it...Blue's Clues KICKED ASS! LoL. I'm 25, and I love Blue's Clues....I admit it. I have to say, I think it's funny that I still prefer kids shows with morals. I LOVE SpongeBob Squarepants, Jimmy Neutron, and THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS are the COOLEST!!!! Though, if you people from Nickleodeon are out there reading this....let's step up the production on these shows a bit...there are only so many times I can watch Timmy Turner wish that he was ALWAYS RIGHT. I swear, you can watch Nickleodeon for a week and not have to watch it again for two months.....GRRR!!! Okay, now that I'm done ranting.

I have to say that I miss the Kick Ass cartoons we had as kids: Voltron, Thundercats, TMNT, He-Man and She-ra, Transformers, and the as yet unmentioned - The Muppet Show, which my cousin and I, at the tender ages of 15 and 13 would still get up early just to watch the two old geezers make fun of the rest of the cast. Jim Henson was a God and we are all just Muppets in his little stage production we call life.

On the whole "Boobah" thing, I have to say that seeing them on TV doesn't do them justice. To get the full effects of their creepy and penis like appearance, one HAS to make a trip down to WalMart and view them in person. They are the SCARIEST damned things that I've ever laid my eyes upon. I have had nightmare about those little phallic freaks.

Last thing....My best friend's little sister was mentally hanicapped and she and I would have to baby sit her sister sometimes. The girl LOVES Barney. We were probably the only two 18 year olds who could sing "I Love You, You Love Me" from memory, and we both new that stupid Dinosaur dance...... "I'm a T-rex....Garr!!!!" Oi!

Okay...I'm spent...

I know this will sound fake but I swear it is not:

I read a transcript of an interview with Greg Wigggle. Apparently the Wiggles are franchising across Asia. There are Hong Kong Wiggles as well.

And the funny part is, they are made up of three Asians and one white guy! (I don't know if he is the one who falls asleep or not).

Fruit Salad, yummy yummy. . .I'm glad my kids are 6 and 4 1/2 now because their viewing requests have changed considerably, but mostly because I'm sick of "their songs" being my songs.

I'm sure you've all done it, driving in your car and you burst out singing something like "Fruit Salad, yummy, yummy".

Anyway, wake up Jeff and go take Dorothy for a walk or something

Hey--Ringo doesn't deserve such a comparison! Interestingly enough, he did get the most fan mail...

Okay, I was really surprised to not hear anything about this here on the board, but here goes......
I have twins, age 2, so right in prime-Wiggles age. We diligently watch two back-to-back episodes each morning on both Disney channels. On the first episode, it is always the older shows. On the second episode, it is the "Network Wiggles" version. So here's my question- did Anthony have a nose job, a face lift or something seriously drastic? Because he does NOT look the same.......this has been bugging me for so long. I have even spent time online searching for some info that will satisfy my curiosity. I was convinced for a long time that it was a different guy, but no, his name is still on the credits. Please- someone let me know what is going on! It drives me CRAZY everytime I see him!

the only thing I noticed about Anthony that was different is his sideburns, and overall he just seems to be more hairy.. you got to figure though, those older shows are almost 10 years old, so they also aged a bit since then

Has everyone completly forgotten Animaniacs, Pete & Pete, and Rocko's Modern Life? That's the stuff my generation grew up on, and I think it explains a lot.

That said, I FEEL for the Rugrats generation. They never had a chance...

But why does Dora the Explorer get a free pass? This show annoys me more then any other; if Dora talks to her viewers as one would a brain-dead hampster, how does she expect them to pick up Spanish as well?

This little girl's constant audience-berrating and questioning leaves me dizzy, but maybe that's just because I deny her answers.

Your next stop is the treehourse Dora! The Mother*&@^$# TREEHOUSE! Leave me ALONE!

marilee
how could I have forgotten Pete & Pete and Animaniacs!! Both terrific shows..thank you so much for bringing those up...

Nobody mentioned Tom and Jerry ... That's what I had when I was a kid! Tom and Jerry Ruled!

I always thought that Jeff was the "special" friend.

We drove 14 hours, once, listening to Wiggles music (the things we do to keep two-year-olds happy). The first two hours were unbearable, then we grew special notch filters for their music in our brains.

Our kid put it best one morning when she announced "You know, Boohbah is weird."

I miss Ren and Stimpy and PeeWee's Playhouse.

Love the wiggles. Love Jeff. Went to a W concert with my 3 and 2 yr old and sat in the nosebleed section. Jeff tromped all the way up to our level and shook hands with my little boy. He's aces in my book.

I think they are awesome. There must be something wrong with me. I like the doodlebops too.

Ahhh, Chairy, I still miss thee. And it's really tragic to no longer be able to sing the "parts of the nervous system" song (all I can hear is Pinky chiming in with "brain stem! brain stem!") but..
OH
MY
GOD
The boohbahs are my new gods - you MUST check them out at boohbah.com but if you accidentally go to boobah.com do check out the cuteness!

Does anyone remember the magic garden with Carole and Paula, the chuckle patch and the story box? I still have nightmares thinking about that creepy story box song. The only reason I watched was to see Carole......she was smoking! I 've seen them in a recent interview and Carole still isn't too shabby.

the wiggles have got to be the most annoying show in the world. they are making a show about daily life and trying to make it interesting. all they do is sing "motivational" songs and ride around in a big red car. i'd rather watch the doodle bops any day- at least you know whay you'll be seeing. and the pirate with that stupid dog! the pirate fights people by tickleing them with his "feather-sword" speak of the devil, they're on right now.they are making that F***ing dinosaur pass a smiley face and frowny face sign over and over.each time she passes to the frowny face, she becomes "sad. and everytime she passes to the smiley face she becomes annoying and giggly.the only reason i ever watch the show with my nephew is because the lead singer isn't that bad looking. i'm 15 and even i can see this show is pathetic and none to educational.

Dear ankhofbloodlust,

"none-too-educational"

Now you can't say you never learned anything from watching Doodle Bops.

When i saw the wiggles my penis wiggled off and i had to shoot it!
Honestley if i met jackass i mean jeff i would
grab him stuff him in my car drive him to
california have Michael Jackson molest him
take him to OJ Simpson have him smack him
put him in a meat grinder and shit on his asian ass!

I personally find the Wiggles quite creepy -- even worse than Barney.

The Wiggles rock. If it wasn't for Jeff, Henry the Octopus would not have a voice. BTW, these guys can play, I've worked with them before, and they are great guys.
Oh and before anyone knocks Anthony, he did win Bachalor of the Year a few years back, and under his skivvy he is hiding a lot of tattoos.
HooRoo
Rebecca

behind russell crow and nicole kidman, the wiggles are the highest paid entertainers in australia....

An australian radio show did some talkback about the best music to "bonk" to, and I remember some woman suggesting the wiggles. Since we had a 2 year old at the time, we were forced to agree. Put the video in and keep the kid busy for a while.

I drove 1200 miles listening to nothing but the wiggles to get closer to the 2 year old life I'm suddenly involved with. I wanted to get on her level. By the end of the trip I became obsessed. At first, THE MOM (whom I'm obviously desperately in love with) thought my wiggles comments were cute. Then she started looking at me weird. I still hear Hot Potato as I try to go to sleep. I can't get them out of my head. I smoke a ton of pot and drink wine till I spin, but they're still there! How can I get this monkey off my back? Here I am ay almost 4am posting on a fuckin wiggles site! Please help, before it's too late!

I was hoping that someone would respond back to this, as it is my first time "blogging." I thought this was a venue for some single parent folks...thanks all

One of my all time hated kids shows is Dora the Explorer. They repeat EVERYTHING at least three times on the show. How annoying! What do they think, that kids are deaf ro stupid? My two year old yells at the TV, "I already said MAP you moron!" If the two year olds of the world hate being played down to imagine how much more annoying it is for the adults who have to suffer thru the shows.
Naomi

Dude, you are out of this world. OUT- rageous.

I've seen the wiggles before. They're all fucking gay man. Four grown men living together, always wearing neon colors? Singing, giggling, and dancing all the time? Fags dude. Fags.

i recall watching them while minding my friend's son, while she was off for a night out. and i must say...

wow, what a bunch of fucktards. and i agree with Naomi. kids know when something is total shit.

Steve....would you run away with me?

The wiggles are total tards. Tards as in retards that don't deserve the "re".

The Wiggles AND the Doodlebops are a waste of air time.

I also agree wit Naomi. Couldn't Swiper at LEAST have an uzi or an M16?

My old favorite was Tom and Jerry.

quickgimber60.blogspot.com

Source: http://www.thesneeze.com/2005/whack-wiggle.php

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